Meet with the antagonists together. Let each briefly summarize their point of view, without comment or interruption by the other party. This should be a short discussion so that all parties are clear about the disagreement and conflicting views. Intervene if either employee attacks the other employee. This is not acceptable.
Ask each participant to describe specific actions they’d like to see the other party take that would resolve the differences. Three or four suggestions work well. If the situation needs further exploration, use a process in which you ask each participant to additionally identify what the other employee can do more of, less of, stop and start.
All participants discuss and commit to making the changes necessary to resolve the conflict. Commit to noticing that the other person has made a change, no matter how small. Commit to treating each other with dignity and respect. It is okay to have reasonable disagreements over issues and plans; it is never okay to have personality conflicts that affect the workplace.
Let the antagonists know that mediator will not choose sides, that it is impossible for a person external to the conflict to know the truth of the matter. Finally, assure both parties that you have every faith in their ability to resolve their differences and get on with their successful contributions within your shared organization. Set a time to review progress.
Actions to Avoid in Conflict Resolution
Do not avoid the conflict, hoping it will go away. It won't. Even if the conflict appears to have been superficially put to rest, it will rear its ugly head whenever stress increases or a new disagreement occurs. An unresolved conflict or interpersonal disagreement festers just under the surface in your work environment.
Do not meet separately with people in conflict. If you allow each individual to tell their story to you, you risk polarizing their positions. The person in conflict has a vested interest in making himself or herself “right” if you place yourself in the position of judge and jury. The sole goal of the employee, in this situation, is to convince you of the merits of their case.
Do not believe, for even a moment, the only people who are affected by the conflict are the participants. Everyone in your office and every employee, with whom the conflicting employees interact, is affected by the stress. People feel as if they are walking on egg shells in the presence of the antagonists. This contributes to the creation of a hostile work environment for other employees. In worst case scenarios, organization members take sides and the organization is divided.
